To Gain So Much
by JAM11
Summary: Bella left Edward when he most needed her can he accept her back into his life? Will Edward ever be the person he once was? Will he gain the things he never thought he wanted? Please review my first story


To Gain So Much

Disclaimer: I can not take credit for the creation of the characters of twilight

EPOV

If you had told me two years ago that I would be here I would have laughed in your face and said whatever I'm going places do you know who I am, yeah I'm Edward Anthony Cullen. Like I said I didn't think things could go so wrong in such little time I had everything that a 20 year old male finishing college could ever dream of all I had to do was keep my shit together for a couple a months and my dreams come true. I was Edward Cullen future NFL hall of famer it was already guaranteed I was waiting for the rookie draft, teams had approached me and told me I was there fist round pick I had sponsor ship deal all lined up for me. Maybe I should explain how everything first started, at the age of 15 I was the starting quarter back for my high school team which surprised the hell out of everyone I went from being Emmet Cullen's little brother to being king of the school in a day. We won championship after championship and I was offered scholarships all over the country but I already knew where I was going to college because I wanted to stay with the love of my life and she didn't have the money to follow me to the fancy colleges I was getting accepted at we were both going to study at the university of Washington. Bella swan she was incredible she had that mahogany brown hair that would show red tints in the sun which we rarely saw in Forks and her eyes those deep beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I could seek out in any crowd during a game just for some extra support, the words beautiful just didn't give the right amount of credit for what she looked like. So when we finally finished school we packed our bags and we headed for the universities of Washington Bella's father Charlie swan was a big fan of me on the field but not a big fan of me being his daughter's boyfriend but I never worried about it because she loved me and that was all I needed.

My mother and father we're thrilled that Bella and I would be sharing an apartment together while we were studying my mother Esme loved Bella like her own daughter and my father had patched Bella up so much from her being clumsy he had ordered me to keep her safe while he wasn't around to sew her back up. Bella and I had never argued and we never really had stopped loving each other so it was a huge shock when the night of the draft I came home to find that Bella had gone I remember the night like it was yesterday it didn't help my mind played it on repeat.

Flashback

The coach's office full as the team and I sat there watching the draft for the NFL I had told Bella that I was going to meet her at home to celebrate once everything was official she had gone to a meal with my younger sister Alice earlier. Jasper held firmly onto my shoulder while we waited for it to start I was shitting a brick I had trained hard my whole life and its finally time for me to get what I wanted his hand firmly clutching my shoulder a way of trying to keep me calm Jasper Hale my sister's boyfriend I wasn't thrilled when I found out my little baby sister was dating one of my team mates but Jasper is one of my best friends I couldn't wish for someone better for her. Nearly all the team are older than me but none held a grudge that I was already one of the most wanted players in the draft because they knew I had the potential to make it I was pulled out of my thoughts by the booming voice of none other than my brother Emmet.

"Eddie I can't believe it's finally the big day" Emmet smacked my back playfully

"Don't call me Eddie and shut your trap it's starting" I shushed everyone

The announcer on the show then went to Washington redskins to hear their draft pick they were the first team to pick this year I had been a big fan as a kid it was my dream to play for them but I knew they really needed a wing receiver and they already had a good quarter back. The man stepped forward to the mike and I was expecting him to pick Laurent the wing receiver from Florida but when I heard my name called over the television I nearly fainted Jasper and Emmet throwing me out of my seat as everyone cheered me and congratulated me. After a one beer and loads of congratulations from the team they slowly left leaving me Jasper, Emmet and the coach I couldn't wait to see Bella's face when I told her she would be so happy.

"Jazz, Em I'll see you later I'm going home to see Bella its all finally happened" I said in utter bliss

"Congratulations man I'm happy for you" Jasper hugged me one last time then heading out the door

"I can't believe it my little brother is going to be playing in the NFL, you best not pussy out on me tomorrow we have some real celebrating to do and tell Bella if she doesn't let you out I'm breaking you out" Emmet boomed

"Bella doesn't stop me going out with you I chose not to especially with your stupid games at the bars Ben only just started growing his eyebrows back" I laughed

"Hay Edward before you shoot off can I have a minute?" I nodded "I just wanted to say I'm proud of you I knew the first day you walked into my office I knew you were special you have the drive I have never seen on any one I've coached in 37 years and I'm thanking you for letting me be part of your journey" he shook my hand

"Thanks coach it means a lot to me I'm going to meet my girlfriend now so I'll see you tomorrow" I said bolting for the door

It took me a matter of minutes as I sped to our apartment in my Volvo to tell Bella the good news I opted for the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator I reached our door expecting it to be open but it was locked. I stood outside the door thumbing with the diamond ring I had purchased months ago tonight I would finally ask Bella to be my wife .I quickly opened the door thinking I was going to knock it off its hinges the apartment lights were all off which was unusual as Bella said she would be home before I was I quickly yanked my phone out dialling her number getting no answer after the third time getting no answer. I began to think maybe she was teasing me waiting in the bedroom for me my little minx was always like that I opened our bedroom door to find the room had been turned upside down clothes on the floor and everything I began to panic thinking we had been robbed. It was while I was looking at the room that I saw a note on the bed in Bella's messy hand writing with it addressed to me I quickly grabbed the note sitting down to find out what the hell was going on.

Dear Edward

I'm sorry Edward but if you've found this note then that means I chickened out I'm so sorry that I'm doing this but I cant be with you any more I'm holding you back and you have a future ahead of you. I know it's going to hurt that I'm not there but you'll find someone who makes you more happier then I would ever be able to just remember that I love you and I'm proud of everything you achieve but it's for the best you won't ever see me again and I thinks that you should not coming looking for me I'm leaving Washington at 9 o'clock on a plane, I'm so sorry please forgive me.

Love Bella

I began crying why is she doing this to me I gave her everything I could possibly give and then she feels like she holding me back she's all I want there's no point having my dream come true if I cant share it with her. I was furious she was always so insecure thinking that she was holding me back and I wasn't achieving what I should be because of her I grabbed my keys its only quarter past eight now I can still make it to the airport I won't let her leave me like this I love her to much to just throw it all away like it was nothing. I was already hitting 100MPH when I hit the main streets I was constantly leaving her messages pleading with her that I loved her and needed her it was while I was leaving these messages that suddenly flashes of light appeared in my eye sight then everything went black.

End flashback

The last thing I remember seeing that night was the red light then realising it was too late to stop I was hit by a lorry coming the opposite direction while I was moving at speeds over a 100MPH I was a mess. I had broken both my legs and damaged my lower back I had serious head trauma but the doctors said I should eventually make a full recovery Esme and Carlisle stayed with me every night in the hospital Alice and Emmet also visiting when they could. It wasn't who I wanted to see I only wanted her but no one heard anything from her I needed her and she wasn't there because she was to selfish to realise what leaving would do to me it was a couple weeks later my doctor told me I would never be capable of playing football again the only thing I could look forward to was walking again but I quickly lost the reason to try to go to rehab. I cried for months even when I returned home to forks I cried and even when I thought the tears were gone I would weep tearlessly I hadn't just lost my dream I had lost Bella I had a ring ready to purpose to her that night but she left. No one heard from Bella my parents asked Charlie to talk to her and tell her what happened to me and ask her to come visit me because I had shut myself off from everyone but he refused he said Bella doesn't want anything to do with me anymore and it's better that way I had never seen my father so angry before when he nearly punched Charlie.

The first few months was me feeling to blame asking what I could have done to make her stay what had I done to her that made her run from me but the guilt left as soon as I got hold of the booze I began to get angry. I soon realised I hadn't done nothing wrong I gave her everything possible I turned down colleges willing to give me things Washington couldn't but I sacrificed it for her that selfish bitch took everything I gave her without flinching. She used me like a fucking meal ticket and when she got bored she decided it was too much and she thought the poor little football player will survive me leaving but I cant in the last five months I've had my stomach pumped twice for drinking and I blame her for all of it me being in a wheel chair me wanting to top myself everyday she told me forever and walked out the door like I was worthless. So yeah my names Edward Anthony Cullen alcoholic 22 year old that lost everything in one night because a selfish bitch named Bella swan walked out on him making him chase her and nearly kill himself, the second worse thing is that my family don't blame her and they stand up for her whenever I shouted about her I think Alice still speaks to her now and again but she won't admit it to me. Esme and Carlisle don't come in my room anymore they stopped once I started drinking they think I should die I can see it in their eyes they think I should have just died in the crash because I'm useless now Emmet hasn't spoken to me since the accident the bastard can't look his own little brother in the eyes because what happened but Alice she still comes to visit me my little Alice to think she use to be a best friend to me but now she goes behind my back. I don't give Alice that hard of a time thought because she brings me the booze I need it every day twenty four seven now I get ill when I don't she refuses to get it me but a few threats of killing myself and blocking the door with my own dead body so they can't get in always makes her come around. The saying was I use to hear was hell have no fury like a women scorned but I think the saying better fits hell has no fury like an alcoholic Edward Cullen heartbroken by a evil bitch I'll drink to that.


End file.
